May 29, 2023


So very interesting was my last hold it helped rather than her like the time before the the hold really didn’t help that much and i’m not sure why i’m mentioning in the last few videos what day i’m on cuz there’s no really set amount of days i’m tapering whatever it ends up being it’ll be but if you’re curious i’m on day 178 and i held the hole that i was doing

Last time i held for seven days and just got off of that tuesday and it is now saturday so another interesting thing about the hold is it gave me back my appetite the last several days i have been eating well and actually craving foods that are better for me than i’ve been eating which is always a good thing i am down to 0.2 for 0 milligrams i intend to make it

To the point to and i am anticipating holding again at that point and it looks to be today’s the 10th the 11th 12th 13th looks to be the 14th so another three days four days before i hit that and then i’m going to hold again it’s that time and i said i was gonna hold at point two and i’m gonna go ahead and stick to those holes because really you know as i said in

The last video there’s no point going backwards in this so i might as well take it easy go slow hopefully i’ll still feel well and then as well as i’m feeling now in the next four days i don’t won’t go downhill and i’ll have to recoup on the hold hopefully the whole to make it even better other things are starting to kind of come back to in a sense of things that

Interested me prior to this things that i wanted to learn more about things that were intriguing to me and i wanted to study and research and and get more involved in i haven’t meant anything in the past eight months or however long i’ve been dealing with this you know my interest and motivation were was an issue during tolerance too but as i said i i still lived

I still did things i was still interested in things and that went on the backburner when i was cold turkey and even though i’ve done absolutely nothing basically even if i’m feeling reasonably well i still haven’t had the interest and/or the intrigue to get back into these things so that’s slowly coming back and that’s really really awesome so while certain things

And certain times of the day i don’t feel that great i’m not sleeping that well you know one night i’ll get decent sleep or a longer time in bed with you know periods of waking up but and then other nights like last night i got five or six hours of really broken sleep and that was just that’s way way too little for me to feel rested and to feel good so so yeah

I i’m doing okay i’m not doing horribly i’m not you know squirming in pain i’m not i’m toughening out i’m i’m not perfect but but i’m okay yeah it could be better i could be out hiking ten miles you know every other weekend or or you know five miles every week like i was doing intolerance i’m not i can’t do that i know i can’t even go for a small walk so i mean

I could push myself but i right now it it’s an intro the fatigue is a really interesting thing because it doesn’t feel like weights anymore but it it’s almost like this really odd phenomenon i don’t feel like like i’m dead tired like when you think of fatigue but the amount of energy it takes to do something that you normally could do is insane it i really can’t

Quite understand not understand i can’t really word it properly the fatigue is just it’s ridiculous because you feel i feel right now like i could get up and go for a long walk or a hike or i feel the lot to do that but if i were to get out there and try there’s no way in hell i could do it so it’s not a lack of motivation right now it’s an inability to basically

Do it and i know i’ve showed you my my muscle tone loss but i’m telling you it’s not the muscle tone issue this is not from laying in bed this is not from sitting around the house because i was just as sedentary i was not in bed but i was just a sedentary before when i was super depressed and intolerance except for the occasional hike which was maybe once a week

Maybe once every other week maybe once a month other than that i pretty much that around and did nothing that doesn’t say much for me but to compare that sedentariness and be able to go ooh i’m gonna go for a hike put on clothes the right clothes put get the backpack ready go and get everything ready and just go hike for ten miles compared to now super sedentary

Doing nothing and i can barely walk to the car without being out of breath and really tired i can’t go for a drive where nothing else is required other than that sit there without being extremely exhausted so there’s a toll other than just a physical toll the activity energy mental energy emotional energy at all is combined and taking place here i’m sure i could

Have said that in some sort of fancy terms but that’s just how i’m gonna leave it it’s a very interesting part of this because i don’t know very many people who don’t have fatigue in this even people who are still capable of going and working they’re still experiencing this extreme fatigue so hey if anybody can explain it better be my guest let me know you know i

Don’t know it’s an adrenal thing could be so yeah i’ve probably talked way too much now and i’m gonna go ahead and stop i will probably make an update several weeks things keep going well unless what’s that come up with something to talk about you want to know of a percentage i’m at eighty four percent today so i’m getting super super close i don’t plan on jumping

Until i hit point zero zero five milligrams that’s the amount that i reduce each day so i am not jumping until then i will not i will go down to my last dose and trust me you guys will will see me take that last dose so i will do the whole thing probably in front of camera just so i have it and i’m a poster just for the hell of it so and then down the road i’m

Going to post a nice little knot down the road like years but down the road i’m gonna post a little farewell to my stash when when everything’s good and calm and and i have some things prepared i’m trying to think of some real interesting ways to get rid of my pills i’m not gonna flush them down the toilet or just throw them in the trash and i’m certainly not

Gonna take them back to the pharmacy and say oh look i have all of these pills no i’m not gonna do it so trying i think is something really really creative to get rid of them without harming anybody else or having any possibility of anybody else getting ahold of them so gonna do that and yeah i’m gonna stop now it’s almost 10 minutes are you kidding me all right

Love you all wishing you all healing and and getting through things as best you can any questions you can always just you know if you have a question on any of my videos you can always leave any comment you want and i will answer it to the best of my ability if it’s rude obviously i’m gonna deleted i’ve done that a couple of times so yeah that’s it i’d like to you guys later

Transcribed from video
33. Update (benzodiazepine, benzo, klonopin, clonazepam) By Benzodiazepine Taper