January 27, 2023

All right eight months off the clonazepam low calorie yes i do have sparkling water in here of course i actually got a couple of those i gotta take one to a guy at work he’s never had one and i figured i’d take two i’ll have one with them all right uh pretty eventful life i lead okay eight months off the clonazepam how am i doing okay so really really month

Eight compared to like month seven is is virtually the same i don’t really uh no difference yet so this is a slow process that’s what it is okay for me so far getting off the benzos it’s it’s all been about uh the post-acute withdrawals the acute withdrawals yes there’s some stuff there but because i tapered so low it really wasn’t that bad like i took time

Off of work and i remember being like dude i wish i didn’t even waste my vacation doing that uh it was as time went on things got worse and and stuff so anyway so yeah dude i would say like there’s really not any difference right now between month seven and month eight and probably month six i don’t know or no i didn’t even make a six month video so there you

Go i um but uh but anyway uh it’s you know i i know i’m just gonna sound it’s just gonna i’m just gonna regurgitate stuff uh that i’ve said before it’s the depersonalization this is a good day this is a good day in fact i’m a little over eight months technically but uh i just didn’t wanna i was feeling so crappy uh it’s it’s the head man i know i say this all

The time it’s the cognitive ability it’s just like feeling mentally just mentally exhausted a lot i am tired uh sleep is just i don’t know i don’t know i don’t sleep great i don’t i don’t maybe it’s the benzo maybe not i don’t know i just sleep is a struggle sometimes um anyway but uh crap but yeah it it really is just the like i said the cognitive ability stuff

Mentally exhausted and you know this has been the hardest thing to is the hardest thing as well so there’s multiple hardest things though but just the lack of motivation and just like uh just it’s not that like oh i have no energy it kind of is though it kind of is like that kind of i don’t know i don’t wanna but uh it’s just not a lot of motivation there you go

And kind of some apathetic stuff and you know that sucks that freaking sucks uh but it um i don’t know it’s part it’s it’s what the game is dude it’s this is a process dude if you’re getting off a freaking benzo it’s a process it is a long drawn-out thing you know it kind of sucks as someone had a comment just like read it yesterday the day before and they’re

A year off of it they’re a year off of their benzo and they’re like i’ve noticed though some small improvements it’s like oh great uh and they’re a year off of it so that’s i mean uh kind of sucks but you know oh you know i’ll be straight up though real quick and then and then i gotta get out of here is the thing that has been the heart really hard for me is

Because i’m detached you know dealing the depersonalization the derealization you know that stuff i’ve gotten into on other videos uh it really really really really sucks okay like i said before like you kind of lose who you are you forget who you are i mean it really is difficult well it’s very difficult for me going through that while having a family you know

Having my wife and having my six-year-old daughter my other daughter just just turned one and it’s like you know i play with my six-year-old daughter as much as i can but it it’s just it’s hard and it’s bothering me and if there was ever i know this sounds this sounds uh like a trip but i bet a lot of us have justified things like this is if there were one

If there was one reason for me to relapse it would be so my girls get their full strength dad back i mean that’s just what it would be but as i’ve talked about many times on here before that’s not the good decision like that that’s not the loving decision as much as we think it might be no getting clean and living an honest life and whatever that’s what matters

Dude uh you know it does suck that i’m you know you know getting off the suboxone and then after a year off the suboxone i decided to get off the klonopin you know uh or whatever roughly that’s been like two and a half years of just getting off stuff and i’m f and tired of it i’m so effing over it i’m sick of it it gets frustrating but sometimes you know we get

Frustrated it just gets so damn old but we gotta keep going okay uh the relapsing gets old the whole you know using gets old everything gets a little bit here’s the thing yeah getting off crap gets old but it may but it gets right we just got to keep waiting it out if we’re if we’re sick and tired of using and that’s getting old well if we just keep using we’re

Just going to be sick and tired for the rest of our lives or you know what i mean like that’s what that that’s what that would be at least with this we’re trending you know we’re going we’re going in the right direction every day every hour like i said seven months is not really any you know eight months is really different than seven months right now still a

Month it’s it’s yeah i i got down another month of no changes you know what i mean like gotta keep stacking them up dude it’s like winning in the nfl something the niners don’t really know much about but you do it’s really hard to freaking win a game in the nfl no matter what you win one you win another you just kind of keep they they pile up you know you’re not

Gonna win this go to the playoffs in a week i don’t know whatever okay here we go god bless all y’all i this was a really terrible video you know if you really want in-depth stuff about my benzo withdrawal just go back and watch some of my my earlier ones it’s very similar to that where i really get into specific things but i’m doing good today that’s good was

Not doing good yesterday before victory god bless and salute

Transcribed from video
8 Months Off Clonazepam By Gabe McCall