March 22, 2023

This week I went to the doctor and was put on anti-depressants. After doing a little bit of research, I’ve found that apparently the first week is often one of the worst and I’m definitely finding that that is the case. Because of this, I decided to document it.

I haven’t vlogged in a long while and i don’t know where i’m necessarily going to put this video if it’s gonna go on my youtube channel if it’s gonna go on one of my other youtube channels or if it’s gonna go on my vimeo or whatever but um i wanted to talk about something that’s going on with me at the moment that i feel like could potentially help other people

But primarily is a way of helping me basically today is thursday and on monday i went to the doctor to talk about my mental health which is something that i haven’t ever wanted to do it’s something that i’ve always thought i can just get on with and it will get better eventually but i reached a point this weekend where i thought it’s just not it’s just not getting

Better nothing is getting better for me and i need to sort it out so after my friends and a lot of people telling me that i should go to the doctor for quite a while and me just brushing it off i finally went i’ve only talked to the doctor about my anxiety because i’ve always been anxious since before i can remember i’ve been a warrior my friends at school used

To tell me i had and naturally worried looking face um but i worry about everything i worry about the people in my life i want them to be happy i want them to be as happy as they can be and i will put other people’s happiness first above my own and i worry that people don’t necessarily like me and my friend kind of because they feel like they should be rather

Than wanting to be it sounds really daft but um and i realized that i need to put myself first for a change so that’s why i went to the doctor and they’ve put me on which i don’t know if you can see these are antidepressants and it’s something that i’ve always been scared of doing it was always very stubborn i would get over it get over whatever’s going on in my

Head and it would be fine but it’s just not and i thought i would kind of i don’t know if i will do this a lot but i thought i’d might document my journey as it were um starting antidepressants so i took the first one on monday and it’s thursday now and it’s one a day and it’s honestly the hardest week for me but maybe ever and it’s still happening that’s why i

Wanted to do a document it now i was thinking of doing one like a weekend but i want to document how i’m feeling now on the side effects there’s a lot of side effects to these some of them are common some of them not so common and i’ve heard a feeling of since starting them i felt sick and i have thrown up a couple of times i feel sick whenever i eat anything and

It just is awful were here but it’s manageable and i feel panicked all the time like i can’t relax i haven’t relaxed in four days my heart is beating so fast even now like all the time i keep waking up in the middle of the night and i can’t sleep very well and i just can’t seem to relax and i’m getting very paranoid and i was thinking i wasn’t sure if it was the

Antidepressants or if it was them not working or me like my body just refusing them and like amplifying everything i’ve been feeling and just not wanting me to do it but i looked up youtube videos of people who are on the same medication they talked about how the first week is often the hardest and i’ve never been on antidepressants before so it is very difficult

And i’m gonna stick it out because apparently it gets better within a week or so hopefully i’m really really hoping it does but um i thought it was important to document how i’m feeling now because for other people who might be in the same situation as me just starting antidepressants and feeling the same way just so that they know it’s not just them because i

Thought it was just me until i looked up these youtube video i won’t lie it’s scary and it’s really it’s really frightening for me um but i’m gonna really try and persevere with it because i want to get better and i want to be happy again and not worried all the time so yeah one thing i’ve struggled with these last few months is relying on people too much to get

Me through these bad points so relying on certain friends to be there when i’m sad and it’s not their job to do that i know that they’re there i need them but i need to remember that they are not a counselor they’re not a therapist or anything like that and that’s why i’ve gone to the doctor and i’ve done the end i’ve put myself on the antidepressants because i

Can’t keep bombarding my friends or friend or people with these problems because it takes its toll on them as well and it’s not fair so i want to get better and that’s what this is for i might just carry on doing these if people were interested but i did think it was important to document how i’m feeling now and how i’m feeling now sucks but i’m gonna passive ear

Because i’ve reached a point now where i’m done with feeling bad and i need to sort it out if you want to hear more about why i’ve gone on antidepressants or anything like that anything about my mental health my story i guess i’m happy to do a video like that but i i’m not ashamed to talk about things nothing particularly awful has ever happened but yeah thank you

For watching and i may make another one of these next week when i’m a weekend or two weeks in we’ll see and i just will document the change i hope that changes

Transcribed from video
Beginning my journey on Anti-Depressants (Sertraline) By Charlotte Mednick