June 4, 2023

Okay classic pam withdrawal day 12. okay let’s cut right in this here we go didn’t sleep great last night didn’t sleep well okay not a big deal though it’s fine to be expected blah blah blah i know i say that but uh but yeah the last time was my worst night of sleep actually since since getting off the clonazepam for sure very crappy and freaking agitated feeling

This morning felt like crap didn’t want to get out of bed felt agitated foggy headache tired very sensitive to sound and stuff like getting just angry and just you know what i mean did not feel good at all in the morning not that now when i say that i’m not i was in agony hell and it wasn’t like that it just wasn’t freaking pleasant it was probably the worst

Feeling i have had you know between not sleeping and how the you know the early morning hours just meshed into you know noon or whatever at 11 noon uh crap what was i saying uh yeah it was the worst i think i said i was the worst i felt that’s dude i’m gonna zone out i’m gonna forget stuff dude i just i keep losing my train of thought with everything right now

It seems like but anyway okay i got something here though this is something i wanted to talk about is okay so i felt like crap and i just was laying there whatever and i got to thinking i was like dude i got i got to get up and just do something about this like try to do something about this and i was thinking because i remember this when i got off the box

And i talked about this a lot you know when we’re getting off crap i mean obviously it’s all eggs in the basket blah blah blah blah okay all that but you know when you’re in the crap and you’re feeling like crap and we the thing is we got a sorry i heard my hair my daughter back there but the thing is we have to take the fight to the withdrawal you know what i

Mean like we don’t we’re not just gonna sit back it’s just freaking the war stuff the war analogy right but but seriously we’re not gonna just sit back and wait for the enemy to no we’re gonna freaking no we’re going and getting him now we’re not you know if we let him in if we let him come to us it’s because we’re setting up a trap okay that’s that’s the only

Way that that’s happening but seriously we gotta go take the effing fight to the enemy to to getting off the crate i’m getting off the box getting off of benzo whatever the heck it is it doesn’t matter i know i say that a lot too but whatever i say whatever okay i could just keep oh man it would be endless it really would uh but but straight up dude we gotta

Take the freaking battle to it you know i talk to a lot of people or a fair amount of people that are they’re struggling you know they’re just really really struggling and i’ll ask them like well you’re not when they’re like any advice like what what else can i do and i’ll ask them like are you doing all the right things are you eating right are you exercising

Or i mean even if you’re older and really in a i mean go walk i know i say that a lot but it’s true make sure you’re taking the fight to the witch to the enemy to the withdrawal whatever i don’t really the enemy i’m just gonna say the enemy uh you gotta do that because if we sit back we don’t do all the right things and it’s not gonna be easy that’s the thing is

Taking the battle to the enemy you’re still gonna get shot you’re still gonna people are gonna die you’re gonna lose tanks and planes and whatever you know what i mean uh that’s just the reality of it but uh but you know if you just sit back there and you’re not on you’re ready to freaking go man you know i don’t know but it’ll it’ll get you it’ll defeat you and

Uh but anyway i was i was thinking about that it’s like because i was like dude you need to quit like you need to get the hell up and go do something about it take the freaking fight it’s freaking all-out war we’re not it’s already done warrior that’s the thing war has been declared you know it’s war has been declared and and uh it’s not like well we don’t know

It’s it’s been declared in its total freaking war you know it’s just like when the japanese bomb the us what do we do we freaking sent some planes over and bombed tokyo right away just to show them like okay all right well you you declared war on us you attacked us and guess what total f in war we’re coming for you in fact we’re gonna bomb your capital you know

That’s what we’re doing we’re gonna bomb the fm capital right away it’s on we’re going we’re going for the jugular we’re dropping nukes i’m getting pumped up but uh but yeah yeah yeah let’s go kill addiction i don’t know uh but uh but yeah you know i don’t know i really i don’t know what else to say that’s it that’s that’s the thing is i don’t i i’ve noticed okay

A couple more things i’ve noticed is i’ve noticed that i tend i have more energy uh like not just more a little bit more of a go i know it sounds weird because it’s like the headaches i mean you’re dealing with stuff but there’s an element of like i want to get up and do things i want to or you know what i mean like uh to a degree to you know what i mean you

Get what i’m saying but overall yeah uh that’s been really really freaking nice um i cannot i can’t remember what else i was gonna say dude i really can’t um that’s the sucky part well yeah that’s really the suckiest part of this i think i just keep forgetting stuff dude like just things all the time like things i don’t normally forget i i forget i’m trying

To i can’t i can’t remember one an example because i forgot but i i did some crazy stuff the other day that was just okay i know okay like uh yeah the first couple days that i stopped the benzo you know i worked the first couple days i remember i freaking i left work and i had food there i had like sausages and these wieners from a meat market that a guy brought

Me sorry talking about food again but i had those at work and i had i’ve seen now i can’t remember anyway i got home and i freaking i forgot those i had to go back to work well then on my way to work yeah that’s what it was on my way to work i didn’t remember if i even locked the door or not so i was like crap i need to go back anyway i did lock it i locked it

I was just in like a zombie state i guess but i don’t know this sucks this is sucky story it’s just i don’t know i really don’t know but uh i don’t know man you know i know a lot of people tell me that it was just pure hell in the acute stage coming off benzos but you know if you’re if you’re someone that’s tapering and you’re coming off a benzo be encouraged

Be encouraged you know it’s not going to be a just you know it’s not like going to the fair i don’t know it’s not going to disneyland uh unless the one of the rides crashed or something now but you know what i mean like you know just it’s this is more like if you like peed your pant no that would suck this is like to me this is like uh you know if you spill

Freaking ice cream no i don’t i don’t know i can’t think of a good one i okay this is what it’s like this is what it’s like it’s like if you go to disneyland and you’re on the pirates of the caribbean and it breaks down and you’re just like you know what i mean you’re just in the water thing you can’t step out you’re freaking stuck in it it’s not terrible but

You’re not enjoying disneyland and you’re stuck on a ride there you go right there where yeah i’m gonna be like oh i’ll tell you exactly what benzo withdraws like it’s like going to disneyland and yeah okay it doesn’t have to be the pirates of the caribbean right i suppose but anyway sorry be encouraged don’t be don’t be afraid dude don’t be afraid of it i mean

Yes if you’re jumping off at some crazy amount i’m talking about the people that are if you are tapering off of your benzo keep working at the taper and don’t be afraid just trickle down and uh at least to be a cute we’re gonna see what this does to me in the long haul and it’s gonna do something whatever but don’t be afraid of the acute for sure you know uh

It’s it uh yeah especially if you’ve got enough other stuff dude you’re gonna do just fine i’m sorry you know i i am a believer in the battle hard and thing to a degree me and a guy were talking about the other night and he was like yeah yeah i know kind of i mean really that’s really me too and he was like yeah no you know he’s like the more older i get and the

More i withdrawal it’s harder on me and i hate it and i get that i get it i freaking get it it gets f and old dude you get sick of it um but you know uh yeah jerking some some here and there i kind of had a little one there but it’s not it’s not that bad sometimes my hand kind of goes like this like i dropped my phone the other day actually i was like um damn

It what was i gonna say dude i had like some freaking point that i was gonna say i almost want to go back in the video and see what i’m saying this is crazy dude this is f f and pisses me a lot um dude i was i was on some topic dude i was saying what was i talking about before what did i start i don’t even remember i remember i was making a point that i got off

Topic i don’t even remember what i even got off topic with or you know what i mean like i don’t know what that topic was i don’t know what i was saying before that um i’m gonna i’m just gonna wait a little bit whatever this is what it is right let’s see if i can remember let’s see if i can freaking remember here we go it’s a game this is gonna be great i’m not

Gonna remember it’s just gonna like it i’ll be on here for like four more minutes and it’ll just be like silent okay okay i need to quit talking okay let me think let me get my thinking cap on i was talking about i was like this okay i was like this and i said damn it dude be encouraged be encouraged coming off the benzo oh battle hearted yes yes vic v for

Victory okay battle harden okay so me and the guy were talking and you know yeah i get older and withdrawal freaking sucks i’m so glad i remembered it okay but okay this but being battle-hardened or well okay so yeah going through the withdrawal many times sucks so so the battle-hardened thing uh you know no and it really doesn’t help there i mean it helps with

Experience so you know what to expect so i will say even there battle harden does help uh you know it does but like i told him i said i said i because i was like i agree but i was like but i said in my specific case and with other people that are going to experience this yeah i’m coming off opiates opioids blah blah countless times and uh now i’ve done it long

Term or you know longer term this is not almost two years is not long term at all rest of your freaking life is long term uh but okay as a pan okay classic pam dude this is nuts you guys okay i was gonna make dude i’m so sorry i’m so sorry you guys are like come on you’re talking about leave it in the comments section and i’ll remember now it’s so stupid okay

Oh battle hardened okay oh man this is crazy okay sucking it back in okay so what i was so what i was telling him is in my specific case because i think it works because i’ve gotten off i’ve you know went through suboxone withdrawal but i’ve never ever gone through a benzo withdrawal before ever so i just i kind of know what to expect i’ve read stuff i’ve talked

To people but benzos are just so all over the damn place and then there’s different one it just is freaking weird so i told him i said i think in my specific case because i’ve gone through withdrawal and gotten off stuff that just it absolutely sucks there’s no if ands or buts it’s just terrible and everyone knows it that has dealt with it but with this it’s

Not as bad as that so far you know what i mean and i was prepared for that or maybe worse than that just because there’s there could be life-threatening things as well and you just never know how it’s gonna go out go pan out but uh so i think that has really really helped me it has really helped me like i say too is like shoot for the or just expect it to be

Effing hell terrible worst thing you’ve ever gone through expect it believe it believe that that’s what it’s gonna be okay seriously and it’ll help you it’ll help you get to the promised land anyway okay god i gotta go play with my daughter a frickin more we already freaking played a bunch this is bullcrap you know this is like a full-time job being a parent what

The hell is that okay god bless all of you for victory and salute

Transcribed from video
Clonazepam Withdrawal Day 12 By Gabe McCall