June 1, 2023


Well mad – mad – mad – mad – mad i’m mad – mad – mad – mad – mad – oh hey guys my hair looks different it’s because i didn’t update video and i had a beanie on and i was just showing like two little strands it was like it was really looking bad in that moment so i was like yeah i have to put something over my head before i record a video but my hair’s looking fairly

Decent right now so no beanie hey guys so i gotta be honest with you and if you don’t already see from the title of the video i am back on medication i’m not gonna do no sad crying video because that is just unnecessary but i will say that i have to be honest with you guys these this last year can you believe it has been a whole year since i have stopped his olaf

A whole a whole year and that past year 2019 has has been really hard for me and my mental health i officially stopped his all off in 2018 i know that because i told myself i don’t want to bring in the new year taking that damn medication so for like the first three months a beam off of it i was fine for the most part but then when it started getting closer to

Me moving to new york city which was in may was when i started really feeling the effects of not being on it and it kicked into overdrive when i actually moved to new york city completely off of the medication it was like before i even say what i’m gonna say next i can tell that i was officially off it when i was like as i was closer to my moving to new york i was

Literally just like having like damn near anxiety attacks like daily in preparation for moving anyways i fought through it moved here and it’s just been hard how i can describe it is that it’s felt like it felt like deja vu like it felt like how i felt before i started taking zoloft like all the signs of how i was feeling the anxiety the complaining all of that it

Was like i was i was i was a broken record like everything it was like playing like where i left off before taking zoloft and honestly you guys it got to the point where i am now where i just said it i’m gonna curse i i don’t care i’m trying to be as authentic as possible so yeah i’m on medication again and the medication that i’m on is so new that i don’t even

Know the name it is called ven love vaccine hcl er for extended release and it is a ss it’s an s n ri medication the zoloft was an ssri medication and i chose to go on this one specifically because the psychiatrist i saw he told me that this one is good for concentration and anxiety as well and one of my issues since being off of zoloft i’ve done like a lot of

Self-discovery but i i’ve noticed like i have traits of just like adhd like my attention is just like all over the place whether it’s in my head or in physical world to just being distracted so i went ahead and picked this one i took it today i feel slight headache ii right now from taking it it’s not like an unbearable or just like i need to go home headache but

It’s like i definitely feel a little like slightly fried like i feel fried it’s a weird it’s a weird feeling right now but it’s the first day i’m not gonna make a big fuss about that i want to apologize for one of my old videos that i made basically saying like you don’t need zoloft and i think i was weaning off of it around that time or i was off of it i don’t

Remember but i was in such a motivating mindset at that time and even though i partially still agree with it i also am more sympathetic to people like myself who i think just legitimately just have like an anxiety disorder like i’m still growing and learning about myself but like right now like i think it’s legitimately like an anxiety and disorder part of it is

Like obviously like self-doubt and just like like getting in your own head but i think another part of it is that i am just like a part of the small percentage of people that have like social anxiety general anxiety and it sucks i i don’t know how anybody can live a life like this feeling uncomfortable around people feeling like conversing with them is a chore

Is something that you want to just hurry up in light get on out or get them out so you can be by yourself it’s not a good feeling but anyways i don’t plan to be on this forever um it’s just right now it like at this point in my life i i’m like still trying to figure myself out and this anxiety that i have is just so debilitating and hindering to my social life

It’s terrible absolutely terrible i’m telling you i have had some scary ass days because of this anxiety like i’m talking scary unnecessarily scary it’s crazy i hope i made a at least a decent video for you guys i like making videos when i’m totally alone and sometimes when i like hear movement and i’m like sharing vulnerable information i like get in my head

It’s like i don’t mind doing it by myself being vulnerable and then posting it to you guys and whoever sees it sees it but it’s like when somebody when i think somebody is like right next to my door i’m like you know i like i kind of lose my train of thought but anyways that’s it once again i’m on the medication it’s called venlafaxine also known as effects or

And taking 37 point 5 milligrams for 10 days today is the first day and then i’m gonna up to 75 milligrams from then on i think i’m gonna stop and keep it at 75 milligrams cuz i did do my research and it has a lot of there’s a lot of people that reported issues getting off of it and they all seem to complain about the brain zaps which is annoying but like it’s

Not like the end of the world annoying so yeah are you guys a happy new year be productive and honestly we’re all human i’m entitled to do what i think is right from me and my life to the contrary of what i said in the past and that’s it have a good day guys

Transcribed from video
I'm back on medication.. Venlafaxine (Effexor) 37.5mg & 75mg By Matthew Woodstock