January 27, 2023

Hey y’all welcome to day two of my upping medication journey so um i know it really hasn’t been long enough for the medicine to make much of a difference it was my doctor said about two to three weeks um my therapist said maybe about a week i’ll be feeling it so two days in shouldn’t really notice much of a difference and um it’s true i don’t i don’t really

Feel a whole lot of a difference um except i do feel i do feel slightly different um i don’t think it’s because the medication i think it’s just a sense of relief like a weight off my shoulders that um hopefully there’s light at the end of the tunnel in the next few weeks that i will be feeling better that once the medication does really kick in that i’ll be

Feeling my old self so just that alone just that fact that um this could help me and i us i think it should we’ll cross that bridge if it is there one day if it doesn’t work but um i’m feeling much more optimistic um and it’s i was just so scared about increasing my medication i kind of outlined it in the last video so i’m not going to repeat myself too much

Or try to but um yeah i was a little worried about it and after two nights of taking it it’s literally like it’s not any different than what i was doing yet it has the potential to make me feel better so totally worth it i don’t know why i waited for so long to to decide to move into this but um one thing i will say is that i had a one moment quick backstory i

Think like a lot of people i really beat myself up my whole life i didn’t have a whole lot of self-love definitely didn’t have self-acceptance um but after i went to the doctor after i made my initial video i felt really proud of myself for taking the courageous step to ask for help to get the help when i needed it to recognize that i’m not supposed to do this

Alone and that um medication is okay and is needed sometimes so i have to say that i was really proud for you know a very short amount of time and when i talked to my therapist today about um sorry this is annoying when i talked to my therapist today about going to the doctor about getting talking to them about increasing my medication you know making taking the

Initiative to go on my own she was she said that she was so proud of me and that i should be proud of myself and that i should really celebrate that win and you know we talked about a lot of stuff but basically she encouraged me to in my journal write a wins column because i’m always been really hard on myself and really need to you know life is so much better

When you celebrate the little things and pat yourself on the back and just give yourself credit for simply being a human in this wild world you know it’s not easy and we give ourselves a lot of we take a lot of from others we need to be kind when we can so although this isn’t totally a medication update um it’s kind of a life update and this is part of my

Medication journey it’s part of my mental health my anxiety my depression i’m learning more and more um every day really um today’s the first day i realized i was ocd i could have a whole other video talking about that um it’s still very fresh so yeah i’d be happy to share that with y’all um and yeah some body dysmorphia stuff came up and um a lot of that

I realized i still need to deal with mentally that i’ve pushed down for a really long time so i think if you’re watching this because you’ve thought about medication or on it have been on it whatever like or have any curiosity of your mental health like please celebrate that as a win like that is a big deal it is not easy to do it’s easier for us to as humans

Push that down and not god i’ve said that word so many times i’m sorry um but whatever you’re doing right now like even if you not you’re not interested in medication just wanted to see what this video was like celebrate yourself for taking the time to grow to learn something new just the fact that you’re curious um we just all deserve to be a little bit kinder

To ourselves um whatever you’re going through life is not always easy and yeah i just wanted to share that really quick with you guys so stay tuned for my next one hopefully by my next one i will be feeling the effects of the medication um as of right now i’m still feeling very anxious like i mentioned before sorry i’m all over the place um but this is real life

This is how i’m feeling you know my thoughts are all over i keep jumping from one point to the other it’s very hard for me to focus on one thing right now um and you know i still have tightness in my chest my stomach is still in knots um shortness shallow breath um quick to anger still still quick to agitation um but overall feeling like i’m like on my way out

Of the dark hole so feeling optimistic not totally feeling myself but it’s getting better and it will get better it might get worse but it’ll always get better so thank you for listening to me ramble about this nonsense um yeah if you have any questions comments feedback advice you just want to chat please comment below would love if you subscribed follow me

On this journey um but yeah have a beautiful day treat yourself well and count your wins all right namaste y’all

Transcribed from video
Increasing Citalopram Prescription – Day 2 By Jacqueline Cawthon