December 8, 2022

National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 800-273-8255

Hey guys so this is kind of an update video to a video i did a while back called clearing my mind on the pct basically this is my journey into understanding that i actually had a mental illness um i was diagnosed on june 25th 2021 to date it with general anxiety disorder that was causing clinical depression basically i think i’ve had this my entire life it was

Affecting relationships with my family any stressful situation i would either become irritable i would go into a flight syndrome so i’d have fight or flight in those stressful syndromes or stressful situations kind of above and beyond what a normal person would the best way to describe it would be if you took a problem and you classified it as like a children’s

Book so a few words a lot of pictures you know five or six pages that was the problem i was basically creating the entire library of congress um going over every worst case scenario um going over planning for every worst case scenario or think of it like the mcu timeline from loki where it just would branch off and i would have to branch these directions and

That is a lot of weight on someone’s shoulders so on june 25th i went in for my um physical with my doctor and she asked me how i was doing and i proceeded to have a panic attack there right in front of her i was having panic attacks from things at work covett had kind of really brought it to a head and a few arguments with my wife had brought it to a head which

I’m thankful for because i would have never gotten the help had those situations not happen would have always just been dealing with this so i had the panic attack in front of my daughter doctor and she through conversation we came to the conclusion that medication would be the best thing for me she prescribed um cytophram and also to help me sleep um trust zone

I believe i may have mispronounced that i’ll put a words here to say what they actually are um which the the interesting thing about the trisome is it is actually meant to treat depression but off label it’s used to treat insomnia she started me until 10 milligrams of cytoplasm after one week i updated to 20 milligrams and that is my current dosage 20 milligrams

Every night i take 20 milligrams side effects can range through a lot of things i’m not going to go over the side effects that the medication can can give you can go look those up it’s basically it’s an ssri selective serotonin reuptake inhibitor basically stops my brain from reabsorbing serotonin so i have more serotonin in my brain which regulates mood the side

Effects that i had with it it’s not all rosy but there is a happy ending was the first week while my body was getting used to the medication i did wake up with a headache um about 60 of the time twice i needed to take an over-the-counter pain medication advil to uh get rid of the headache but most times i could just sit in in bed and kind of wake up slowly to get

Through it and then it was fine the other side effect i have is it did really kill uh my sexual desire so my libido went way down and my ability to achieve orgasm is it’s it’s more difficult now um so but like anything you weigh those side effects against the benefits and in my situation with my wife those weren’t big side effects she was happy to get her husband

Back and in a mood where i could be a loving partner again for me now on the medication it’s supposed to take up to two weeks two to six weeks to take effect i saw relief the next day in fact the first week back at work um following it so three days later i would get anxiety attacks and i would get panic attacks but i was able to regulate them away relatively

Quickly so i had a few moments of panic attacks where i would go into tears my brain go up and i’d have a little bit of anxiety but after that week so going into the second week after i got my dosage to 20 milligrams my anxiety went away i was able to talk to people again so social anxiety went away general anxiety disorder went away depression went away because

I was no longer building these mountains out of mole hills going forward i’ll probably be on the medication for the rest of my life and i’m okay with that because i’ve seen the effects in both my work and my personal life i’m able to talk to people i’m able to perform at work at a level i hadn’t performed in a while um i did have to go through some administration

Let’s rewind some administrative situations at work where you know they were uncomfortable situations that i had to be a part of uh no discipline for me but um i did have to be there and those being the type of person i am i’m very empathetic those were difficult situations and i was able to get through them pretty good i did have a little bit of anxiety going

Into it i went i laid down i took my break i laid down and i allowed my brain to just kind of decompress by the time we got to the situation i felt prepared and i was able to go through the situation relatively easy why am i saying all this because as a male we’ve always been taught not to talk about our mental health or mental illness i feel now that i am

A recovering mental illness survivor i was going down a dark path i wasn’t into harmful or suicidal ideology yet but i was starting to realize or be able to understand why someone like anthony bourdain katie spade kate spade um robin williams chester bennington chris cornell the list goes on celebrities that run at the top of the world i thought would actually

Commit suicide and that was scaring me that was a dark path now i am not saying that cytogram is the miracle medication for everyone i’m not a doctor i can’t diagnose you but what i am saying is this if you are suffering from general anxiety know that the doctors are out there to help you there are a lot of medications out there some are ssris there’s four of them

All different chemical compounds so um if one doesn’t work for you you’re able to move on to another one or even out of that class of medication if medication is right for you get the help though talk to your doctor get a reference to mental health um try to talk to a therapist work on your breathing and realize that these bad days can pass but you may have to

Take an active participation in them and go out there and talk to a doctor or a therapist i was lucky first medication at the gate helped me and not only did it help me but it helped me the very next day in fact friends of mine have already been able to say wow this has really changed and you you you’re a different person um and that being said i’ve been very

Open with my diagnosis i’ve been very open now with my struggles with mental health and mental illness in the past um and i think going forward i’m going to be in a much better place which brings me to why there’s been those laps in the videos during this time i was enjoying life too much to put the camera in my face i wanted to enjoy that but now i’m ready

To get in there and i’m hoping that with the medication now my social anxiety in certain places where i wouldn’t film because i’d be worried what other people think will go away because who cares what they think i’m doing this for me i’m doing this to document my life and i’m doing this to share it with people out there um my motivation is way up and i think

You’re gonna see a little bit different style of videos coming out in the future more effort put into them more gear reviews and hiking more magic tutorials more you know amusement parks and fun things that we do in l.a or even around they open cruising up and i’m an avid cruiser so we’ll see some cruising content but until then all i want to say is this if you

Are suffering get help talk to someone um i’m going to put the number to the suicide prevention hotline down below in the description go ahead and check that out talk to someone if you’re struggling because there is help out there and you are a worthwhile person so that said to my hypertrash family icon

Transcribed from video
Mental Health, Citalopram, and My Story By Scott Harvey