March 24, 2023

Hi ChosenFamily !

Tammy said that it’s not normal who is anyone to say what’s normal i think we can agree that when people say normal their image of normal is like a white couple heterosexual and have probably boring missionary i don’t want to be normal i never wanted to be normal and i don’t think that any of us are normal based on whose standard we’re special people and i’m up

For celebrating diversity and individuality then trying to put everyone into two boxes pink and blue and pick between those i think that’s just a boring a normal way to look at things hi my chosen family welcome back to the channel i just want to say thank you so much for all the support that you have given me in my channel the last video that we did on is it

Transphobic to not date a trans person video we got a lot of good feedback from that video i want to continue to extend on that topic so i have asked the chosen family community to tell me what is one of the most common misconception that you hear when it comes to dating trends people and you guys have of course always come through and sent so many of your opinions

Common so i’m excited to share that with you but before we get into the video make sure that you subscribe to the channel hit the bell notification so this way you can see all of my contents as they come out all right let’s get into the video it’s just always funny when like i’m asking something inclusive on a chosen family community like some stranglers who’s

Like you know transphobic and all of that have to jump in and give their about it like they know me better than i know myself but we’ll get to that so the first one is from thou thou said that we’re very sexual i think that the dolphin industry is giving people the notion that we’re very sexual although some people may not all trans people are all the same it’s

A common misconception my estrogen does the opposite in fact i’m not sexual at all and rarely think about sex life like i used to hopefully this doesn’t come off through thank you bob i really appreciate you bringing this up i feel like this is one of the things that we don’t talk about enough in the trans community which is like why are we being objectified and

Fetishized so much just because a lot of people first introduction into trans people happen to go through porn we as trans women specifically being objectified and fetishized so much that’s what they know that’s what they see and they don’t have any real life example to know and treat a trans person like a person but more like an object because trans people are

Not easily accessible in public like majority of time if you look at a person you wouldn’t know what their gender identity is so it’s hard to meet new trans people unless you in like you know a very specific groups or like you know you go online that’s how you can meet trans women trans people but in general i just don’t think that people know even when they have

Met a trans person and thou i really appreciate you bringing up the estrogen level and stuff some people thinking that like we’re nymphomaniacs but majority of time we’re not when you started hrt like your estrogen level in it it just decrease your intimate life and people don’t talk about it enough you know it’s one of the things that i think a lot of trans women

Have to give up i know some trans women have to stop the hormone blockers which is the spironolactone that at that you helped suppress the testosterone level they would stop that completely just so they can have like a normal intimate life again they were still taking estrogen of course but like they would get rid of the other one completely and i think i went off

It for a while too just personally spironolactone doesn’t do anything for me if anything it makes me moodier so i did not like that and i’m really glad that i don’t have to take it anymore right now i’m just taking estrogen so yeah i really appreciate this fat being brought up i think a lot of trans people need to know this before they get on the hrt too rebecca

Said that is gay for men today trans women or women today trans men that is a hundred percent untrue a mandating a trans woman is a straight man more in touch with reality unless they’re bi or pen of course i have said this before and i think that’s really anger a lot of conservative people is when i said like a man who date a trans woman is a super straight man

And a lot of people don’t get a humor behind it so they would just like you know come at me for it and say that like you wrong you know the only gay men and all of that for me when a person say that a man who’s dating a trans woman is gay not to show me their transphobia because that means that you invalidate trans woman’s womanhood you invalidate their existence

You invalidate that truth we can collectively agree that a trans woman is a woman and therefore if a man dating a trans woman he’s attracted to her femininity he attracted to the outside when we look at even cis women we don’t think about what they happen to me we just assume because we’re attracted what we’re attracted to and i think people can get that or maybe

They do but they just want to think the opposite a man who they trans woman usually would they cis women and there’s nothing strong with that and there are people who non-binary who have feminine features and men can be attracted to that too that doesn’t mean that they’re gay that doesn’t mean that they buy a pen if they buy sexual or pansexual that’s up for them

To define who they are not for us to assume ronnie said that we’re hard and difficult to deal with and aren’t relationship material now i wouldn’t disagree 100 i’m personally very high maintenance so i think i’m difficult to deal with in general but things that come easy are not worth keeping and i think this is a misconception because a lot of people think it

That like trans women are only into it for the one night stand and all of that but a lot of trans women are relationship material if anything we’re capable of being so much more empathetic and compassionate towards you and that is one of the key thing to build a successful relationship you just don’t want to see us that way because you have been taught to see

Us as an object and not as a person don’t be surprised when you go out and try today a trans person and they’re super picky and they wouldn’t choose you just because we trans doesn’t mean that we don’t have taste or standards if you’re not up to date we can say no too bk said that we’re men in dresses that we use women’s bathroom is 2022 you if people still say

That trans women are men in dresses at this point i’m just so empathetic towards them that they are living in a box and they never knew anything outside of it they probably don’t even have the technology advances to like study or know anything more than that these people probably typing this from like an internet cafe that they charge like 3.99 for tammy said that

It’s not normal who is anyone to say what’s normal love you vicky thank so much tammy i think we can agree that when people say normal that image of normal is like a white couple heterosexual and have probably boring missionary i don’t want to be normal i never wanted to be normal and i don’t think that any of us are normal based on whose standard we’re special

People and i’m up for celebrating diversity and individuality then trying to put everyone into two boxes pink and blue and pick between those i think that’s just a boring a normal way to look at things tony said that they would get late on the first day i’m not gonna sit here and shame people who get laid on the first day i think if both of them consented to it

And are happy with what they got out of it then yeah i’m happy for them sometimes one night stands are way better than like a four or five years relationship if you’re miserable in it you know if you can look at things as the way it is and go into it not expecting too much and going into it get exactly what you wanted and get out wow i mean that’s for me it’s like

A win-win situation stephanie said that all transgender women are not penis crazy the idea of trans lesbian they can’t seem to grasp in those tiny little close-minded minds i used to be one of them i didn’t even know that it was possible until i met trans women who were lesbian i get a lot of trans women who you know shown interest in me and i honestly was quite

Surprised i didn’t think it was possible um and i’m gonna admit to it you know i was ignorant about that fact until i met people who are that you know and that’s for me i had to understand that like gender identity is totally different than sexuality a lot of people who supporting trans people still have that misconception and i think that’s okay that’s why we

Have this platform right here to educate people what you are and what your interests are are two different things and that’s okay too would i swing that way i think i’m gonna keep that idea open out there but at this point i’m just loyal to one person so they are of the thinking that because they have a thing or attraction to your trends that we should apply to

The advantages it’s a shame that this was not top 10 misconception lists i agree with you but i think this also affected us to swim into like men usually when they go out with someone they just most of the time would think that they are entitled to the woman’s body a lot of cis women friends told me that like sometimes they go on a bad date but at the end of the

Day they still feel some sort of like guilty if they’re not giving up their body for the men to access it and i think that’s the thing that society we need to do better for our sister and cisgender sister if you want to it’s fine you don’t have to feel you obligated to do it if you don’t want to a no is a no it’s okay to say no as a woman it’s okay to say no if

You don’t feel like it and it doesn’t mean that like you think that person is bad or anything you can have a second day and maybe you feel different trust your gut instinct as a moment even if the guy pay for an expensive day you still are not obligated to go to bed with them it’s okay to say you know what i don’t feel like that tonight you know what thank you

For a good day but i will see you later i like that this was brought up so thank you kelly that a person dating a trans person just be gay i think that’s not true i don’t think that that’s not true i know that that’s not true we talked about it before if the only reason you think this way is because you don’t see trans women as women and that’s your transphobia not

Our problems gabrielle said that we’re complicated today sometimes i think so i think we’ll come with educated today not because of who we are but because of our experiences trans people for the majority of time i would say that was very selective of who we letting in even to other trans people that’s why you see a lot of successful relationship happen between two

Trans people just because we know each other’s background we know each other’s baggage and burdens that we bring on the table so that’s why we have way more empathy for one another that’s why we become best friends and have really good relationship but there are cis people out there who completely capable of having emotional intelligence and i don’t think that we

Have to close ourselves down i think in general dating is the complicated issue whether you trans or cis you just have to be open to it allow yourself to get hurt and allow yourself to be vulnerable i think that’s for me it’s how you grow ken said that a person dating a trans person must be gay that’s the one that i hear most and the one that i disagree with the

Most a lot of men who i have gone out with the biggest fear was people thinking that they’re gay in the beginning of a relationship but so we went out for a while i think my experience have taught them to be more comfortable with themselves and to be sure of themselves and to be just like okay people can say what they say i know that i’m not and that’s okay also

It’s 2022 it’s the worst thing in the world is being called gay i’m just asking i’m not saying that it’s true but i’m asking it’s being called gay the worst thing if you feel that way that right there is internal homophobia and trans women are not a problem you have problem with gay people if you date a trans woman and you show up yourself that like i’m straight

And i date a trans woman and own up to that i think that’s that right there show that you you are a secure straight man i don’t know i think we should all check the men in our life if the worst thing in the world for them to be called is because gay like they’re homophobic as a trans female myself i would say taking chances life is short so some individuals just

Aren’t worth prolonged involvement much less dry i’ve been living in a shelf through life so long i’m ready to move forward authentically as my new self i think that is so worth celebrating for if everybody who’s watching part of the chosen family we’re here to support one another i want we all to like clap for lana to have some self-realization about her worth and

Um congratulations day leon said it’s the idea that trends people more specifically women trick men into dating them because they didn’t disclose the fact that they trends and that’s the fault of the cis normative society we live in today we’ve never been taught or exposed to the idea that a lot of trans people exist and a lot of which pass i find it bizarre they

Expected to share such personal information from the get-go why cis people don’t have to mention that they cis stray men are naturally trying to trans women because they display female secondary sex characteristic oh i guess that leads to another misconception that dating that makes you gay when you guys try stuff like this i just wish i could be on that level

Of intelligence to like say my thoughts more completely and tactfully you know what we’re all here to learn and i’m learning from you guys that you think you’re learning for me so thank you so much i love this i think the biggest misconception for me is that trans women trick men into bed we don’t have to we have taste the fact that we have to disclose anything

I myself have the opposite thought years ago when i was asked about if i think trans people should disclose their gender identity to people on dates i just want you to know i used to think that way but i have learned and grow and i don’t think that trans people oh cis people disclosure i really don’t i posted a video about this topic a while back i think a couple

Weeks ago and tons of transphobic people come on my channel instead of like that’s why you get killed and my question for them was do you really believe that the islands against trans people trans people don’t owe cis people’s and i’m gonna say it again trans people don’t owe cis people you are so entitled to think that we owe you that we don’t this is personal

Information it’s like someone’s coming out story why would we give it to someone who’s not worth more than a one-night stand second i do think that this is a personal choice i myself just don’t do that i just know i don’t want to deal with consequences after which is like have to over explain it and sometimes it can lead to violence and i don’t want to do that to

Myself i just want to be straight up front so no one can tell me that i trick anyone i don’t have to and i know a lot of trans people out there don’t have to trick anyone to do anything but just because i disclose mine doesn’t mean that another trans person have to do it too they should make whatever choice that feels safest to them and even if someone who didn’t

Know that this person is trans what happened to just a symbol hey you know what that’s not really my thing i wish you well that’s it why do you have to incite violence towards them for me dutchess inhumane that just mean that you don’t see trans people as people you see trans people as less than that’s what you feel entitled to have power over them that it would

Be anything different from any other relationship two people who like or love each other have to work at it to make it work transist by etc i agree at the end of the day we link the same color if you don’t like someone or it doesn’t work out doesn’t mean that they cis or trans it’s just because you don’t click move on and find someone that you click with sam said

Let me try answering your question about misconception maybe because trans women are not women well stems that say a lot about you that’s why you’re on this channel we’re not gonna like go into details of exposing you you’re the one that have to live with your closeted lives so good luck with that um it sounds better it sounds homophobic transphobic but that’s

Your problem and not ours so i would say as a chosen family we just wish you well hopefully you have the key to the closet it so you can come out one day and be a proud cis person who just attracted to trans women and that’s okay all right everyone that’s it for now thank you so much for participating into all these topics every week i really appreciate you guys

Have created this safe environment for all of us to discuss this important topic together and i hope that we all have to learn a couple things here and there that’s all i can hope for if you love this video make sure that you give it a like give me a comment tell me what you think about it and i’ll see you next time thank you foreign

Transcribed from video
Misconceptions People Have About Dating Trans People | Vikki Le By Vikki LeliveBroadcastDetails{isLiveNowfalsestartTimestamp2022-09-23T181112+0000endTimestamp2022-09-23T182958+0000}