June 4, 2023

In this video I share my experience having been off sertraline for 6 months. Apologies for it being so rambly and slow in my delivery but it was quite a challenging video to make as I am a little unsure about how I currently feel. I found it quite difficult to summarise. I do hope there is some value in what I share and it helps you in some way. Thankyou for watching and supporting my channel.

Hi everyone welcome back to my channel it’s been a while since i’ve been on here and i really wanted to come back and do a kind of summary of how the last six months have been for me since i came off centrally and so i came off um i tapered off uh back in june and we’re coming to the end of 2021 now and it’s been around six months where i’ve sort of been living

Day-to-day life without it um so i really wanted to come on and share my experience share my thoughts tell you guys how it’s been how i’ve been feeling i actually wanted to do this video a few weeks ago and i had been thinking about it for a while um and then when i really started to kind of dig deep and think about how i would articulate what it’s been like

I have to be honest i really struggled i think i struggled because i’ve found it difficult to almost sort of summarize how day-to-day life has been like without citrulline because it’s been hard and it’s been challenging and i didn’t really know what to say and how to express it so it’s taking me a while to kind of sort of really think about it um so just

To recap i was on citrulline for two years um i came off back in june i tape it off really slowly so it took about three months to taper off and when i decided to taper off i was in a place in my life where i was feeling really good um i wasn’t waking up with anxiety every day i was really being really positive you know sort of life was generally going well i

Really had kind of worked on my morning routine and kind of like built in kind of real sort of um a good mindful routine kind of like daily mindfulness routine into my lifestyle i was going to the gym i had um being really healthy and so i really felt strong and capable of trying to experience life without it um i could have i did feel like i could probably go on

But i came to a sort of natural point where i felt i want to sort of fly solo now without it um so that’s kind of where i was mentally um feeling very good positive you know really sort of in control of things i think now when i look back um it has been hard i’m not gonna lie like um but really i’ve what i’ve realized it is it is down to the sort of effects

Of day-to-day life so work relationships um how i feel about myself you know how healthy i am um general kind of i’m an overthinker so you know really how my relationship is with kind of my mind and my body and i’ve come to the point where i’ve realized that it is going to be a challenge i just the way i’m built and the way i’m wired every day is going to be a

Challenge and it’s up to me to kind of figure out how i cope with those challenges and those stressful moments and there is no doubt that centraline would help with all those solutions like all those challenges sorry um but it’s finding the balance between what i’m capable of doing on my own um and really where i need support and i guess where the support kind

Of comes into it now where the medication isn’t really kind of propping me up is how much time and importance i put on thinking about what’s really going on in my life um how i kind of channel my emotions and channel my feelings and my thoughts um and also really how i come into contact with certain situations whether that’s you know having difficult conversations

With friends or family you know kind of how i manage my expectations how i manage my ambition and my drive and you know sort of what i want from the world um because those are some of the things that were really kind of challenging me you know sort of previously when i was really suffering from poor mental health and there have been days where i wished i hadn’t

Come off it and i questioned whether it was too soon and there have been moments where i’ve really thought about going back on and i think there’s those days where i do think about going back on i kind of ask myself if i want to go back to the start the beginning of like kind of going through the side effects going through that whole kind of the early stages

Of you know sort of your body getting used to the medication and all that kind of stuff and when i think about those things you know we all know they’re not nice um and they’re they’re in itself that is um sort of a challenge i kind of say to myself like push through you can do this you know ramp up you know some of the other things like the mindfulness you know

Go let’s go to the gym today you know because you’re not feeling 100 and you’re not going to be productive so i have these conversations with myself now when i almost feel like i’m sort of relapsing in a weird way um because i i see where people can become addicted to antidepressants ssris you know and anxiety medication i can see why people can become almost

Reliant upon it um and this is why throughout all my videos i’ve kind of realized early on the value and how important self-care um you know sort of practicing mindfulness sort of practicing you know whatever it is that works for you meditation my gratitude all those things that you know now kind of is so sort of um relevant in our day-to-day lives and you

Know so why they talked about i kind of now really understand the full value of it because when i get up those mornings where i’m feeling sluggish and i’m not feeling motivated that is what really puts me in control of my emotions and my thoughts and my feelings and you know i think we’ve just got to come to terms i certainly have with the kind of ups and downs

That life throws at us and when we’re on a high how you appreciate and value those highs and when you’re on a low what you do the strength you have to ride that wave and see that through and that could be a really short-term wave of a few minutes or a couple of hours or a day or that could be a wave of a week and you know last week i had a really shitty week um

And come the weekend i just said you know what i’m gonna this is about this weekend’s gonna be for me i’m gonna really kind of invest in myself and all that negativity and all that kind of low mood and um those thoughts i was feeling this week i’m gonna put restore myself um and i recognize these patterns now i kind of recognize these that when it happens i kind

Of know what i have to do and i have to say like a few weeks ago my anxiety creeped in after a few um a good maybe sort of yeah i’m not really having anxiety morning anxiety um and that was worrying that was scary um because you just don’t know if it’s the start of something you know that’s gonna occur every day or if it’s just the one and then i kind of stopped

And thought about why am i feeling anxious like what is that that has triggered me and i then can can correlate that to either my work or um how i’m feeling about a certain situation or relationship and i was able to kind of stop think meditate upon what that why that is and then i feel more in control of it so i don’t want to kind of go on too long um and

I know and even in this video now i’m kind of reflecting but i kind of i wanted to say that if you’re in that situation where you’ve you’ve now spent several months or a year off your medication and you’re kind of sort of thinking and wondering you know god did i make the right like did i make the right decision um i kind of just wanted to share that it’s kind

Of i think it quite a natural feeling um and it’s quite sort of normal to feel that um you know maybe we should kind of go back um but you’re not alone in this um i’ve realized it’s a very kind of natural thing that i probably will question for a long long time if not the rest of my life you know i’ve realized i’m just kind of wired in this way that sometimes

I will feel this way and there are days are going to be difficult and days are going to be incredible and it’s just about learning to navigate that so i would love to know how you guys are getting on like if you could drop me a message in the comments let me know what your thoughts are your feelings where you’re at with your journey with citrulline let me know

If you can kind of relate to some of the what i’ve been saying um sorry if it’s if it’s been a bit wishy-washy because like i said it’s been difficult um and i knew that when i made this video it was gonna be a bit more reflective but i guess the message i really want to give out is kind of just learn to control those kind of feelings when they arise um you know

Remember how far you’ve come and you know you would if you’ve stopped you wouldn’t have stopped unless you really felt confident that you could fly solo and if you’re still you know on your sexually journey don’t rush it you know wait till your gut tells you that you are ready and you will and if you’re not that’s absolutely fine you know there was a moment where

I felt that i could just carry on taking that the meds for forever and i think i would have been fine with that so wherever you are um i hope you’re well and you know life is treating you well and you’re happy and um yeah i hope this helps i would love to hear from you guys so drop me a message in the comments or send me a dm on instagram and yes i shall see in

The next one where i have something very exciting to share thank you

Transcribed from video
My life 6 months off Sertraline Coping without medication By Rishi Kumar