June 4, 2023

previous vid:

Hello everyone welcome back and if you just so happen to be new um i’m like the laziest new tuber that’s me trying to be funny at this point i don’t even think i can qualify as a noob i just suck at this today i think i’m going to try and be presentable is this better i don’t know i know that my room looks a mess just kidding i’m giving an update on my medication

In a while so if that’s an interest of yours stay tuned because i had to write everything down three weeks ago i started taking the five milligrams of buspar three times daily i was thinking or i am taking that alongside ten milligrams of celexa that’s doing pretty good at first it affected my appetite but it wasn’t very long and every so often i get a pain like

Like right here i don’t know if there’s anything important right there but i have an appointment coming up so i plan on discussing that with my doctor um my anxiety hasn’t improved a decent amount and not just like through me i had been noticing a difference but lately i’ve had like people come to me and tell me that they’ve noticed a difference so that’s really

Reassuring let’s see the depression i mean i know that that’s gonna be something i’m gonna live with forever whether i’m medicated or not but it is a lot easier to control and to cope with it without without letting letting it drain me of so much energy and motivation and i don’t know i really don’t know how to put that to words it’s it’s a lot of feelings that

Uh i don’t know how to communicate really but it has helped me cope with it um i’m learning to deal with my insomnia in previous videos i talked about my experience with trazadone i was taking 50 milligrams a night it just wasn’t helping me sleep but it was making me more tired and irritable then my doctor told me to take as needed and that didn’t really help then

She was telling me to take 25 milligrams 250 and you know that so far now with you know the antidepressants and anti-anxiety i seem to sleep somewhat better i mean i’m still forever tired but um it’s still better um trying to find the right thing has been really hard i’m still not sure if i’m gonna stay on these current medications but so far it’s this has worked

Better for me than you know previous experiences so i really hope it works out of course there’s downsides like i said whenever i first started taking the buspar it did throw my appetite and the same thing with sitala for him it also threw my appetite off for a little while whenever i first started but now that it seems seem to have like regulate my appetite is

Fine keep saying um a lot i’m sorry this that’s probably gonna bother everybody i mean there’s a bunch of downsides i’ll get jittery every so often but it’s not as bad if i just like watch my caffeine intake sometimes i have dreams i sweat a lot i mean so far the side effects have really been like nothing and compared to like the help that i’m getting to control

I’m getting over my anxiety the ability to go about my daily routines without feeling overwhelmed with negative emotions and clearer thinking i just feel like medications are gonna be hard they always were that’s why i quit taking them for so long because eventually i felt like the side effects weren’t worth it and i mean i was take i wasn’t taking medication for

A really long time and then it just got hard so i’m glad i’m taking the time take care of myself i hope that i don’t need medication forever i hope i find different ways to deal with my emotional stress i feel like medication should be last resort there’s so much i think strain on your body i don’t know but so far i’m i’m really glad with my decision to go about

This journey to find the right medications for me and try to get my manic depression under control and really it was the sleep that got to me but i feel like i can just deal with it i’ve dealt with it for i don’t know since middle school maybe um a really long time so that’s i feel like that’s not as important as you know my mental health even though that may be

Some of the issues causing my mental health it’s a lot harder to just get more sleep for me i think i want to change the atmosphere in here so i’m not quite sure if i wanted to go off in a new direction on my channel or if i should just make a new youtube channel i wanted to ask what you guys thought about that um i know my channel doesn’t really have consistent

Content i just kind of like post whatever um do you do you have any suggestions i don’t know d i don’t know what to do i don’t want to just you know post about my medication i started off this channel doing makeup stuff and then i was like i don’t want to just post about makeup i i don’t know if i should just like start posting whatever whenever instead of have

Like i don’t know i’m i’m not sure what content i should put on this channel if i should just not worry about it and post whatever at the time like i i feel like i shouldn’t post anything because i just feel like lame or whatever um but i don’t know that’s probably just me getting to myself but yeah comment down below subscribe to my channel tell me what you guys

Think if you have any suggestions let me know because i’m really trying to do this thing and i’m really trying to china trying to connect with other people i don’t know how to do that bye

Transcribed from video
my manic depression journey: 3 weeks and 4 days on Buspar By KayLeigh