March 22, 2023

Taking OXYCODONE July 2020 Feeling Depressed EPISODE 24

Well it’s going to be an oxycodone night this week it’s going to be my first oxycodone night of this week so it is currently sunday the 19th of july 1 58 p.m pretty hot outside i got my dinner in the microwave just to marie calendars i’ve had a very very bad very depressing week and uh just a terrible week but the good news is this is the first time i’ve had

Oxycodone since last week but i’m taking it tonight it’s my ankle’s hurting pretty bad so what is going on i am i am absolutely struggling with my job i i hate my job now and i’m just feeling so depressed about everything because i don’t want to be there anymore i want to get out of there but i don’t know if i can because i don’t know if i can pass the ged and

That’s another thing i have not spent five minutes on ged this week like i said i would i’ve had every night every morning i get up around midnight one o’clock in the morning and then i don’t go to work until 7am so i’m home and why am i not going on the ged webpage and studying and exploring that it’s because i just have no desire whatsoever to do so i come up

With every excuse i just plop down in the chair and watch tv nap i’m not doing what i need to be doing i gotta get myself motivated they did send me an email yesterday or the day before offering me a ged live program it’s gonna cost about 50 bucks but i’ll download it on the laptop and i’ll be able to actually log in to classes set all that up or what really

Appeals to me is i’ll be able to to um watch log on to classes that have already taken place 24 7. so in the middle of the night when i’m here for five or six hours with nothing to do i can be going through classes and learning and man why am i not doing that i’m completely intimidated by what i’ve seen so far the four subjects that i’m going to have to pass

I don’t know if i can i’m i just i don’t know so i’m depressed i’m feeling so bad about that stuff but i got to get going i got to get moving on this if i ever want to get out of there and get a new job i uh i’ll wrap this up i um i almost was ready to put my notice in yesterday when we were fighting i thought i just should put my note put my notice in and

Just be done with it and if i did that it would be the worst thing i could do because i’m very sure that we’re going to go into another lockdown here because the coronavirus numbers keeps going up and the our governor said i do not want to close the restaurants and bar i do not want to do that but the numbers keep going up they’re not going down so it’s getting

Worse and worse and i don’t see how we can avoid shutting down the restaurants and bars by the end of july i just don’t i just don’t know i hope it doesn’t happen but if it does i can collect unemployment that’s why i need to stay working there but i was so this morning i sat down over here and i wrote out my two weeks notice just wrote it out and i carried my

Wallet just so that if i get mad enough there all i got to do is whip that out and fill in the date of my last of the date of when i’m you know of when i did it and then the date of my last day to work and then just leave it in my boss’s office and go from there man i don’t want to do that but if i did if i did put in my two weeks notice i’d be out of there and

I could survive for quite a long time without a job because i do have savings and i could make it for quite a long time but then there goes my savings so i no i don’t want to do that i want to keep working there until i can give my ged and and move on or the lockdown is going to happen and then i can really concentrate on the ged that’s kind of what i’m hoping

To have have happen but i don’t know i really want to get up in the morning and spend tomorrow i’m i’m off the next two days i got to go to the doctor tomorrow and i’ll really wrap this up i’ll go to the doctor tomorrow and but no i mean i’d love to be able to purchase the program and set it up on the computer and start delving into the ged stuff tomorrow if i

Feel like it and i got to go to the doctor tomorrow because they notified me that i can’t get any more prescription medication of any kind including the oxycodone and my blood pressure medicine until i have a visit with the doctor and they told me in may i supposed to have a checkup in may and they told me not to and now i’ve been waiting all this time for them

To say okay let’s get this done and now they call me up and say i can’t have any more medicine do you get in here and what a mess okay well so that’s where we’re at on the uh 19th of july hopefully i can go another week without taking oxycodone and that’ll pretty much take us up to the end of the month so hopefully this will be my last oxycodone dose for the july

Okay i am having arthritis trouble today in my foot and i am just about to take a dose of oxycodone it is tuesday the 21st of july it’s about 1 30 in the afternoon i did not work today i did not work yesterday but i’m having quite a lot of pain in the ankle today because yesterday i had to be an idiot and got very very intoxicated on alcohol i drank about nine

Pints by this time yesterday and i don’t know if i did something stupid i just don’t know but all day today i haven’t even left the house today i am just having arthritis pain and i need to take oxycodone and go to bed i have got some dinner going in here i made this huge big pot of beef and noodles and that will feed me this entire week that’s going to be some

Good stuff so i’m just about ready to dish up a bowl of that and now with a piece of cornbread and that will be my dinner oh oh what a bad day yesterday was ah a very bad day trying to cool my house down this morning it is friday morning it’s the 24th and it’s 24th of july it’s 309 am trying to get my house cooled down i took oxycodone yesterday because i was

Hurting really bad and i still am i had a very bad day yesterday at work and it’s not for the reasons that i’ve been talking about not those reasons at all this was a way of missing people in the main kitchen so my pizza dough man had to go down there and work so i had to do his job and my job and i was all alone in the bakery and i had a very tough time with it

I had to stay very very late i didn’t get out there to four o’clock after getting there at seven and i kind of hurt myself too my upper back is hurting my shoulders hurting and of course my ankle because it was on my feet so i came right home and took oxycodone and went to bed with some dinner and now i’m just extremely dehydrated i’ve been trying to sleep in

The chair i went tried to go back to sleep in bed but anyway uh yeah horrible horrible day and uh dose oxycodone last night has left me feeling very groggy this morning but i just gotta get myself together here and gotta go back to work here in a couple hours

Transcribed from video
Taking OXYCODONE July 2020 Feeling Depressed EPISODE 24 By The Rat Race