March 24, 2023

New series documenting my experience with antidepressant Selective serotonin reuptake inhibitor (SSRI) medication. This is the fourth day.

Hello everyone um day four update um i i think i’m gonna stop taking these tablets oh i can’t really i hate the way they’re making me feel and i know like i know if i keep taking them i’ll feel better eventually but at the moment it’s just it just feels like i’m poisoning myself this horrible feeling i feel dizzy all the time and restless i just can’t sit still

And then i’m getting tinnitus which someone said on one of their videos it’s giving them permanent tinnitus after taking it even when they’ve stopped and then i’ve looked online and quite a few people i’ve found a few people saying that as well they take it for a certain amount of time um and then like take it for a few months and then when they try to stop

Taking it they get tinnitus and it just never goes away or stays with them for ages so i don’t want that i’ve taken it free three days in a row and i’m getting tinnitus in my head there’s a constant whining noise constant whistling or a rushing sound and um i don’t know whether that will be a just a with a thing that’ll just while i’m getting the side effects

And it’ll go away after a week or so but i don’t i just feel like i don’t know i don’t want to risk it i don’t want to risk having tinnitus forever like i don’t know if that’s a good trade-off it’s kind of giving me anxiety thinking that i’d be hearing that noise for a long time rather than just something for it and last little i’m getting all confused and tired

Still i’m not sleeping at night i’m sleeping for a few hours at a time and then just waking up and being wide awake and uh just i just feel like it’s i just feel like i’m putting something bad into my body you know i mean i feel like i’m it’s something i shouldn’t be doing that’s probably down to the because my mood is so low like really low the minute it might

Just be down to that like make me feel really negative about it but i don’t know i just i feel worried that like if one day i want to take take myself off them the withdrawals will be so bad that i just feel is as bad as i did before and then and i’ve got my stag do as well coming up in a couple of weeks and then my wedding a couple of weeks after that and uh

If i can’t drink at those things or if i i just have like a couple of drinks i mean my wedding’s in a brewery i can’t i can’t take having a wedding in a brewery and not being able to drink very much which i’ve looked up certainly and it says it’s not very good to drink while you’re on them so i don’t know i’m worried about to stop taking him now it says he says

He shouldn’t just stop taking him cold turkey but i’ve only taken him three times so i’m hoping it shouldn’t be too bad i do want to speak to a doctor but i can’t get through to a doctor because i’ve said this on another video to get through to a doctor you’ve got to get up at half eight and start ringing them but at the moment that’s the only time i seem to be

Able to get any sleep like i’m i’m asleep at that time because like i don’t sleep all night and then towards the morning when the sun starts coming up i start falling asleep for a few hours so getting up to ring the doctor is really i found it really difficult and getting the motivation as well so i can’t speak to a doctor and i i don’t know what to do whether to

Just taper them off or just stop taking them all together but yeah this the tinnitus and just the general way i’m feeling just the restlessness and the insomnia i don’t i don’t think it’s worth it uh so i don’t know there you go i think i don’t think i’m gonna take it today and yeah not very long no not been a very long diary this is a plan to keep this going

For weeks but i don’t know yeah the tinnitus is the main thing that’s worried me i used to get it a lot when i was a kid and he drove me mad so i just don’t want to have that all the time so anyway there we go

Transcribed from video
The Antidepressant Diaries – Day 4 (Sertraline) By Channel Fadge