May 29, 2023

Hi guys um yeah i just thought i’d give another update and um i’m just in limbo a minute um i’ve got exactly uh one two three four five 37.5 tablets left um and then i’m supposed to stop but um do you know what i’m frightened i’m really frightened do you know what it is you know i’m thinking i don’t want to ruin christmas um i just don’t want to ruin

Christmas i don’t i don’t i don’t know i’m gonna i’m under no illusion right i’ve had a cushion because these drops you know you reduce but i’ve been taking vendor vaccine do you know what i mean um when i’ve have when i were coming off methadone um i don’t know what it is you you just you know you’re lower you’re lower you’re lower but you’ve there is some in

Your system you know what i mean and it’s it’s when it’s all gone and um i’m like under no illusion that it’s going to be tough work um it was tough work getting off at methadone but i did it um you know i mean um but i just think this is a whole different base i don’t know what it is about it but it’s just i don’t know it’s just it’s mental in there i’ve ever

I’ve if you notice i’ve got an elastic band on my arm and i said in my last video that me anger and nostalgia dispersed i spoke too soon it didn’t you know i mean um so i’ve got a mantra now i’ve been i really am acting on my emotions i’m letting my emotions rule my life at the moment um every single thing that comes up the anger i’m not i’m i’m acting on that

Anger it’s it’s fight or flight in it you know and and um i’m impulsively acting and i do some that makes me feel absolutely after um it’s especially been with road rage this this anger and hostility it’s just it’s really bad at a minute and um i’ve had to put it’s easy to see you know i’ve had cbt and stuff like that and it’s easy to say you know oh stop and

Think and stuff and yeah in einstein yeah you know um i wish i could stop and think and not say the things i do or or act in a way that i do when a certain emotion comes up i.e anger or jealousy um you know i do some i say something i have to say i i do a behavior and it just causes me really bad pain um and it also ruins my relationships as well and all this

Is stuff is coming it’s getting really bad you know obviously we’re coming off of antidepressants um anyway i’ve got a mantra now um i need someone to remind me that what i’m doing is not right and or to to focus on or bring me back to reality when i’m really in this emotion and and i’m gonna i’m gonna act out on it you know what i mean and it can be with her in

Myself as well you know what i mean um i am an impulsive person um so anyway i’ve got a manchester um i say a monster to myself monsters my go-to word um so if i’m doing so i wouldn’t cut over to every example and okay on as usual um i’d had an idea i’ve been feeling depressed i’ll admit it um down flat just not myself i just i just don’t feel right um and i

Were going to be carrying on again and and i remember to shout out monster and i flicked my band um and it helped me it really helped me um it brought me back into that this isn’t real that doesn’t matter that that block in the car in front of me isn’t going as fast as i want him to you know i mean and uh that i can’t do anything about it i have a bit of patience

And there could be something wrong with him um if you try tailgating or maybe crash into him which is some of the thoughts i have you know i mean you’re gonna end up getting um arrested just logical thinking logical thinking um assessing the situation and seeing this emotion for what it really is that it’s it’s just an emotion and i’m letting them rule my life

Do you know what i mean um it’s just little things that i’m putting into place but i just i just wanted to i just don’t know what to do um as you can see i’m 27 weeks pregnant today um i’ve got five days to decide either to phone the doctor and get 37.5 and half it or not phone the doctor and this is it um and all i’m thinking about is ruining christmas um

But um yeah i don’t know what to do i’m in limbo you know um i really i really am i wonder what other thing what do you put in place when you’re going through all these emotions and stuff you know um like i said i’m gonna still it is is he’s i thought i’d all gone oh it’s this birth and all this stuff not on um it flares up part time you know i mean um so yeah

I have to do flicking a elastic band and say monster and uh the monster is stopped for a minute and an in and uh and a saying thinking emma tries to get in there and and look at the situation and see it for what it really is you know i mean i am totally letting my emotions just rule my life um and i need to put these things into place if i’m going to be going to

Live without antidepressants do you know what i mean um there’s a lot a lot of hard work to do you know um i’m not gonna have that that that crutch anymore and i don’t dislike antidepressants developed me so much i’ve been on them for 24 years um but i do need to put things in place you know what i mean i need to recognize my emotions and and think and because it

Just leads me to pain anxiety and depression um it really does these these behaviors i’ve gotten um and i and i will let um every emotion rule me and think it’s real i am not my emotions i am not my thoughts um but anyway i just wanted to give a quick update and thanks everybody for your comments and stuff like i hope everybody’s doing all right um i’m currently

Um it’s christmas in uk well it in it’s christmas like in about four week but i’m putting the tree up um and this is my my dogs yeah can you see him that’s tommy he brings me a lot of comfort get a dog thank you everybody take care bye

Transcribed from video
Venlafaxine Withdrawal: Limbo..Drop or Stop? Mercy of my emotions By Venlafaxine Withdrawal Journey For my unborn baby