February 7, 2023

Hi everybody um it’s a maria i thought i’d give an update i don’t think i’ve posted a video in about 10 days um you’re gonna have to excuse me uh being out of breath i’m out of breath a lot driving me nuts um this is tommy by the way he’s looking at the christmas tree there’s my christmas tree tommy’s a nosy guest um but um it brings me great comfort uh so we love

Mr thomason anyway um yeah i think it was ten days ago and i said i would do to pick up a prescription um and it were either gonna be drop or stop um and i think i’ve made the decision in my mind to drop um and i didn’t do you know what to be honestly i didn’t even ask but um i thought i was gonna get like so i didn’t know if they did like i don’t think i think

The smallest amount of in the vaccine that they make is 37.5 um anyway i just assumed that when i picked them up they’d be the tablet farm um you know the solid tablet um and the one that were there were these can you say it’s just the same as the other ones um and inside uh which if you’ve ever opened your tablets before it’s loads of little things so i start

Looking at these because my plan was to bite the tablets in half because i’d been getting you know the solid ones um and when i saw these um i thought now this is either a sign to stop i’ll continue um because i’m not in the habit of opening this and counting um counting the little little pearls inside because i know some people do that um i’ve read about it

And i’ve heard about it and i want about to do that um not counting them so there’s the bloody beast um so i decided i’ve been contemplating stuff and it is christmas here um and i am still struggling on such a low amount i really am um i made the decision to just stay the same just stay on 37.5 um i considered a lot of factors in this uh one being pregnant

Most definitely um two how i’m going to be feeling over a seasonal period um and yeah mainly just my pregnancy and my law mood at minute um those were the the factors um and i’ve discovered that being on such a low dose of um i’ve really i’ve really struggled you know you know i’ve really been struggling um so i think that the best thing to do well what

To um just to stay the same and i’ve decided that i am taking my last venlafaxine tablet at the end of 2021 and i don’t plan on taking venlafaxine in 2022. i have also decided that um no vendor vaccine is not going to be in my life anymore but considering i’m pregnant considering that i have suffered with postnatal depression before um that i’m gonna be a mom

Again after 14 years i’ve already got two children i’m 41. um you know i don’t have a lot of money um things are going to be tough um unfortunately my work don’t offer a great uh maternity package um on top of everything else trying to look after my recovery for drug addiction um i think maybe i might need to go on another tablet um i don’t know satalopram

Maybe i don’t know i’m going to speak to my doctor um and for the first couple of months of my son’s life take a lower dose of that and then once um once i’ve got into a routine with my baby um again and um and then look at coming off of that tablet um the main aim of this game is to get a feminine vaccine i do not want that drug in my life um i don’t it’s

Been an horrendous journey um it really has it’s been it’s been tough and i still find it tough um but i feel the old point of this were for me is i wanted to get down to a dose i wanted to get off at 300 and i didn’t want to be taking 300 in my third trimester um and i think i’ve achieved what i set out to achieve i’m on 37.5 i am in my third trimester my baby

Is due at the end of february um i’m just hoping that i’ve done enough so that is okay you know um and like i said at the end of this month i don’t plan on being on venlafaxine um and um that’s the most definite that’s not gonna happen i just wanted to say throughout this as well i’ve had absolutely zero support from my gp absolutely zero support um i think the

Most thing that’s helped me is talking on these videos and it really has and at the moment i’ve been contemplating a lot of things in my life um and i feel like my life has become pretty stale since coming into recovery and um for drug addiction and i try to follow a 12-step program one thing i’ve learned is that change we we’ve got a change you know we get

Comfortable in certain things and i think i’ve become comfortable in a lot of areas of my life um and i’ve i’ve been thinking a lot and i feel like leodis my baby i’ve called him leodis um i think he’s been sent to me to to trigger a massive change in in my life which is going to be a massive change i’m going to be a mum again at 41 after nearly 14 years um my

Two children are older um but i’ve decided that i’m going to make a lot of changes in my life and one is i am changing my job um also because i’m coming off these tablets i’ve really you’ve really got to put in effort with your mental health uh really putting some some action and i’m not going to have the cushion um of any antidepressants hopefully fingers crossed

That’s how it’s gonna be anymore um and i am gonna i feel like i’m pouring from an empty cup and i can’t do it anymore um i need to fill myself up and i need to go back into some group work um remind myself about mindfulness about my anxiety maybe some cbt um my overthinking’s been completely horrendous um my the ear worms as i call them which is repetitive

Thoughts and repetitive music in my head i’m suffering with insomnia at minute um i think that is due to being comfortable with the baby but also these tablets and overthinking just absolutely everything and i’ve decided that i’m going to concentrate on my well-being and i’m going to have to take a cut financially for that unfortunately but i want to feel better

Again um it didn’t matter how much money i could you know i could continue to work 40 hours a week and then some some all right money you know hardly seen my son and and just and just be a robot you know and it’s not what i want um i need to put my mental health first and that’s what i’ve decided to do um so yeah there’s going to be some big changes coming up and

I’m hoping that i just want to go in the right direction my recovery has took a dip i’ve made some really impulsive decisions in past few months um in n a they suggest you get a sponsor i’ve let my spend sponsor go about three four weeks ago so i don’t have a sponsor um i’ve also recently give up my service position at a meeting um that is a meeting that i’ve

Been attending for a long time um i’ve give that service position up and um it’s one i feel like my sponsor wasn’t for me and the service position i need to free up that time um and i’ve decided that i need some a a new breath of life in my recovery and so i’m gonna try and pick up um service at a mixed meeting uh maybe a couple of them but i’m gonna have to

Say um the only requirement for membership is a desire to stop using so if anybody from a news watching this um um i am gonna put in some action i need to put in some serious action at the minute um i think i could i feel like just sitting at home in my cousin for all time and i know that i’m going further and further and further and further down um in regards

To mental health you’ve really got to push yourself aren’t you and um i just feel like i’m stuck into you in government minute due to the fact that i’m heavily pregnant i’m struggling we’re getting around um i’m quite big um i went for um i say um a lot in these videos you know i’ve noticed that i went for a midwife appointment which you don’t get to see him a

Lot but she said i’m measuring big um and i am i’m having difficulty breathing um by evening time i can barely walk to kitchen or stand up i’ve missed my exercise so much i’m i’m missing so many things but one thing that you do learn in and it’s the spiritual principles and i am gonna have to really grip older patients and perseverance with this and realize that

It ain’t forever and um concentrate on what’s important i’m still continuing to go to meetings and still phoning people and well sometimes um it’s few and far between but these past couple of days i’ve been able to like post this video and speak to you guys and i’ve spoken to quite a few people in fellowship as well so um i have good and bad days i also need to

Remember to go easy on myself and a bit a bit of love for myself and realize that growing a human isn’t easy um along with coming off um medication um i just i hope that anybody out there who’s struggling or or um with your mental health in any situation don’t be ashamed of taking medication um unfortunately this medication just ain’t for me um it’s been it’s

A frightening experience coming off this and i’m absolutely dreading end of this month i really am i’m not gonna lie to you i’m frightened to defer coming off this stuff um but it’s what i want and i know i can do it and i hear stories and i get feedback from people who have done it and i’m so proud of you uh well done um also yeah if anybody ever needs please

Reach out um send me a message uh and i’m here i mean if i am here if you want to talk um because that’s the most vital thing is is that we must talk to each other and let people know how we’re feeling and don’t be ashamed um that we’re struggling so yeah um i’m hoping to get through december i’ve been um i’m still crying a lot dealing with insomnia my behavior

Is erratic um yeah i’m struggling and i’m not afraid to admit that i’ve been struggling but for today as i say all the time for today i’m okay um i’m just on my way out which takes a lot sometimes to go see my mum and dad um i saw them yesterday first time in over a week and i spoke to him for the first time in over a week because i’ve just been isolating and i

Just don’t want to speak to anybody and it’s not healthy and once i start doing the things that i struggle to do i start to feel better um i really do which is like picking up phone um you know going going to a meet in um and and um getting a bit of fresh air and stuff like that so instead of just sat sometimes um eating i put a lot of it my love to everybody

The rest is still unwritten bye

Transcribed from video
Venlafaxine Withdrawal: You can't pour from an empty cup….my face..😂😂FFS.. By Venlafaxine Withdrawal Journey For my unborn baby